Friday, January 06, 2006

The Joy of Being Lola





Mama Mima and EJ (4 months old)





My mom and EJ (6 months old)








What is it about "lolas" that makes them tickle when they see their grandchild (specially if it is the first one)?. I recall being a first time Mom is already overwhelming, I wonder how it feels to be a first time grandma??

My mother-in-law,Mama Mima, was with us shortly after I gave birth to EJ. I didn't really had the chance to spend a longer time with her before so, this is also our first "bonding" opportunity. The whole 5 months she was with us, all I can remember is this patient woman lovingly caring for EJ. She wakes up early each day looking forward to greeting EJ a good morning, bring him near the window and watch the morning bus that passes by. In a short while, she would carefully give him a bath and then change his nappies and put on fresh clothes. In between, there's a lot of babytalk,gigling, and laughing to entertain EJ. The whole routine is not complete without feeding him his first bottle of milk for the day and then, the finale would be a little rocking on EJ's baby swing coupled with some singging to put him to sleep. Without notice, time will quickly pass by and you will find my mother in law still patiently rocking EJ to sleep until he finally wriggles and shakes his legs wanting to get out. And then the whole routine starts again with a little entertainment, next batch of feeding, and then in a short while, sleeping.

Days ago, my mother was here in Singapore to visit us during the holidays. This is her first time to be out of the Philippines (along with my brother,Nicky) so the trip by itself is already overwhelming for her. The first time she saw EJ, I can see that different "spark" in her face, she suddenly smiled and hugged her grandson like it will be the last time. She was here for two weeks but, the shadow of that same patient woman suddenly came back to life. My mother would start the day looking forward to carrying EJ in her arms, play together, they would sit in the couch and watch the morning news, she would put him in his walker and watch him roam around messing up the living room. In a short while she would assist me giving EJ a bath, change nappies,then change clothes. She will then feed him with his milk, burp him and then, carry him in her shoulders with a little singging to put him to sleep. In a short while, EJ would be back on his toes again and so the whole routine comes back starting with a little play-play, and then eating, and then sleeping.

The two "lolas" had different encounters with their first "apo", yet both are the same in giving their 100% if not more, in taking care of EJ. That's what I can describe as deep love. Love that is inherent and will re-surface itself even if uncalled for. I'm sure both of them did not really think how much they have to give of one's self until they finally experience being with their grandson. I wonder how much fulfillment is there to have your first "apo"? Is there an emotional difference between your son and your grandson? I think it is needless to ask, because judging from the two lolas, I'm sure there is no comparison and it will be difficult to describe.

I'm here in Singapore but I continue to think about the two lolas who are now back in Davao. I wonder how they are feeling right now? I'm sure they miss EJ a lot, but beyond that, will the fondness last or will it fade as the little boy becomes naughtier? What is it about "lolas"? Or, should the question be, what is it about "mothers" that makes them a constant source of love and affection?

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